Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
