I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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