I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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