My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize