part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
