i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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