Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
