True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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