talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
