hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
