everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
