You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hippo gnu deer
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
