The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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