I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
