I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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