is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
