So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
