I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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