Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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