i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
