so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
