This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
