my mouth tastes like poor choices
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
