no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize