Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
