like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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