i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
