I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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