STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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