when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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