Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
