he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
