I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
