Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
