dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize