Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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