...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You dont lie about slip and slides
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
