She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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