try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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