How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
