when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
