the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
