Dual....:-)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
