mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
