I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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