I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
