I wanna passion pit in your ass
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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