I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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