Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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