My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's blow job season.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
