that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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