Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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