So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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