ugly people sure do ruin things
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I smell like Dick and happiness
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