i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
