As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize