oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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