Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
God I need to hump something, right now.
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