SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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