my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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